How To Love Yourself on Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day can be a day of joy for some, and a day of heartache for others. If you’ve struggled with depression, you may know exactly how this feels, and today you might be feeling rather down.

There are many reasons people may feel sad on Valentine’s Day. You may be single, and watching everyone else be happy with their partners could remind you of something you don’t have. One thing I’ve learned over the last two years is that it’s important to remember to love yourself.

You may be thinking, “I’m not good at that.” Or, “I don’t deserve love.” Or maybe even, “I’ve been single for so long. I don’t think anyone could ever want me.” It can be a challenge to think positively on a day like this if you’re at all like me. Here are a few things to keep in mind this Valentine’s Day.

1. Relationships aren’t everything.

Something I cover in my new book The Long Road Home (April 15, 2016) is that relationships aren’t everything you need in life. Is it nice to be in a relationship? Of course. Is it nice to feel love from someone else? Definitely. But the key to happiness, I’ve learned, is loving yourself. Heck, you can even make a joke about how you’re dating yourself! Buy yourself flowers. Buy yourself some chocolate. Make yourself a nice meal.

This may sound silly, but in fact, you may start to feel better. Even if you want, make a list of the positive things about yourself. This is positive thinking/self-talk. It has been shown that positive thinking can increase mood, even if it’s just for a little while.

2. Friends and family are just as important.

Valentine’s Day isn’t just about showing your partner how much you care about them, but everyone around you. Show your friends and family how much your care (as you should do every day). If you do something nice for someone else, it can help increase your mood as well, and might even help you forget some of the mixed emotions you’re feeling.

3. It’s just a day.

This may seem like common sense, but in all reality, it’s the truth. Valentine’s Day can be hard if you’re struggling with depression, and you may feel hurt and alone.

In truth, Valentine’s Day is just another day. We should love others, and ourselves, every day of the year, and Valentine’ Day is no different. Sure, there’s cards, candy, presents, etc., but as I said in #1, treat yourself. Remind yourself of your own worth, and don’t let a day tell you you’re not worthy of love.

4. You are valuable, and you are lovable. 

Regardless of what you’re going through, what day it is, or how you’re feeling, you are valuable. You deserve love just as much as me, a celebrity, a child, or someone living on the streets. You deserve as much love as someone who may seem better than you, or lesser than you, or someone who seems as though they have it all together.

Love yourself. Don’t put yourself down. Don’t dwell on the loneliness you may be feeling. Don’t constantly tell yourself you’re worthless or don’t deserve love. I promise, you do.

I hope you have a great Valentine’s Day, from my heart to yours.

Happy Valentine's Day




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